Rage.

Just rage.

Just rage, When I saw my bike just all fucked at the shop.

I do not know why.

Rage at the truck people or at myself, I do not know

Just rage.

It is a out of sight, out of mind thing.

Seeing my MTB there just made me so angry, so sad.

I do not know if I am dong the right thing.

I am seeking money in itself for the thing it is supposed to give me - happiness?

No, that is a fallacy, it is to give my freedom.

But that freedom will be utilized for happiness - ultimately leads to the same thing.

I do not know.

I know at this moment, is that I do not bring enough value in the marketplace to have a life when I can ride enough for it to satisfy me - not even just enough to keep me going, even the drip-feed is not viable.

I need either a 9 to 5 job if I to weak or business if I’m being honest with myself to afford the MTB lifestyle in both time and money.

I may end up going lets try to make this the main business and challenge myself that way eventually.

For now we increase marketplace value.